When did being busy become a badge of honour?

‘Busy.’

It’s probably my most generic response to the question, ‘How are you?’

And actually, when I stop and think about it, I really am. My calendar is rammed with activities, catching up with friends and social events. I’m currently building a website, working two full days a week as a receptionist. I’m keeping on top of the housework, walking the dog, trying to look after my own health and fitness and, somewhere in amongst all of that, I’m juggling the twins’ social diaries and my husband, too.

It’s a lot. Sometimes it’s genuinely overwhelming. And yet, I feel slightly smug when I tell someone I’m ‘manic.’

As though being busy means I’m important. Productive. Needed. Doing a good job of life.

Then, on the flip side, when the diary is suddenly empty, or I actually have a rare 10 minutes to sit down, I feel guilty. I know, right! Give me a completely free Saturday and I’ll start sorting the garage out.

So, when did being busy become something we’re supposed to be proud of? Like a badge of honour?

Being busy isn't the same as being productive

A study published in Cognition and Emotion looked at the social pressure people feel to be busy. Researchers found that on days when people felt greater pressure to be busy, they reported more negative emotions, anxiety and depressive symptoms. The researchers described this as a link between social pressure to be busy and poorer daily emotional wellbeing.

Perhaps we also need to start separating being busy from actually being productive. We answer emails, plan appointments, put another load of washing on, scroll through Instagram, make lists, do some more washing(!), organise things and then wonder where the day went. We've done loads, but have we actually done anything important?

A 2026 review looked at the idea of ‘time affluence’, which basically means feeling like you have enough time to do the things you need and want to do. It found that people who felt they had enough time tended to report less stress, better wellbeing and greater satisfaction with life. Importantly, it isn't necessarily about having loads of free time, but about feeling like you have some control over how you spend the time you do have.

Leisure guilt

A new study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in July 2026 looked at something the researchers have called ‘leisure guilt’: feeling guilty or uneasy about spending time doing something enjoyable rather than something productive.

You know that feeling when you finally sit down, put your feet up and immediately think, ‘I really should put a wash on’? That’s it. Across four studies, they found that people experienced leisure guilt during around 14% of leisure occasions. It was more common among women, younger adults and people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds. The researchers also found that people who were more prone to leisure guilt tended to get less psychological benefit from their leisure time.

Why do we feel guilty for doing nothing?

We are surrounded by messages telling us to make the most of every minute. Be productive. Learn something. Exercise. Meal prep. Even our leisure time can start feeling like another item on the to-do list. The latest UK National Wellbeing data (March 2024) from the Office for National Statistics found that women spent an average of 57 minutes more per day on unpaid work than men. That unpaid work includes things such as housework, caring and other unpaid responsibilities. So telling women to just ‘make more time for yourself’ isn't helpful when you're already juggling heaps of things.

I'm not suggesting we all throw our diaries in the bin and spend the rest of the year lying on the sofa watching re-runs of Sex And The City - although, wouldn’t that be great! And yes, sadly, the washing and ironing will still exist no matter what, but not every empty hour needs to be filled. And really, what’s the worst that can happen if the washing’s not done? Or the twins miss a playdate?

Being busy isn't a measure of your worth. It doesn't mean you're more successful, more important or somehow better at life than the person who takes the time to drink and enjoy a hot cup of tea. Sometimes you're busy because life is busy, but sometimes you're busy because you've become so used to being busy that doing nothing feels uncomfortable.

Maybe an empty Saturday isn't a problem to solve. Maybe it's just an empty Saturday where we can actually kick back and watch those re-runs.